THE WORST OF THE WORST: Michigan Embarrasses Notre Dame, Gets First Win

Rarely do two of college football's most storied programs enter the third week still seeking their first win, but in an unprecedented match-up of mediocrity, winless Notre Dame headed into the Big House to take on also winless Michigan.

While it seemed Michigan's season couldn't get worse after losing to App State and getting spanked by Oregon in consecutive weeks, it was almost as bad for the Irish, who had been handled easily by both Georgia Tech and Penn State.

Could the stakes be any lower?

A rivalry is still a rivalry and Michigan came out with a fire not seen in the two previous games, while Notre Dame kept on sucking. Add those ingredients together and you get a 38-0 Michigan victory. Things might finally be looking up for the Wolverines, but it just keeps getting worse for the Irish.

After allowing 34 and 39 points the Michigan defense finally stepped up, though with offense as bad as Notre Dame, a shutout might not be that great of an accomplishment. RB Mike Hart backed up his words with his play after guaranting a Michigan win, rushing for 187 and 2 scores.
In what might be a future rivalry for years to come, two of the top high school recruits from last year lined up under center for their respective clubs. While few would have guessed that Ryan Mallet would be taking the snaps today, it was #15 that ended up throwing for three TDs clearly outplaying his counterpart, Jimmy Clausen, who looked clueless for the second straight week, being sacked 8 times.

Then again, its hard to blame a frosh QB when your running game is being stuffed for -6 yds and your defense isn't stopping anything.

After two embarrassing losses, Michigan finally has some breathing room and confidence headed into Big Ten play. Meanwhile the Irish have more questions than answers.

After a trip to Michigan State next week, Notre Dame will play Purdue, UCLA, BC and USC.

An 0-8 start may be very realistic, especially since scoring is a vital part of college football today.

And not much about Saturday seemed different than weeks one and two. The Irish defense still sucks, the offense still hasn't scored a touchdown, and Charlie Weis is still fat.

Imagine that.

It may take more than Touchdown Jesus and Rudy combined to save this season.

—C. Nierman

NOTRE SHAME: Weis and Irish Put Up Little Fight

Happy Valley is a football town, and when teams like Notre Dame come to town that place rocks.
110,078 fans, second largest in Penn State history, gathered for this classic, old school battle between historic programs.

Shirts read everything from "Rudy Sucks!" and "Rudy Was Offsides!" to " FU ND."

A few Lions fans came dressed in fat suits, complete with Charlie Weis' signature khaki pants, navy shirt, and headset, while the rowdy student section clapped and mockingly chanted, "CHAR-LIE'S FAAAAT!"

Ah, college football.

Having gotten the nod from Weis to start, Jimmy Clausen was in over his head. He and the Fighting Irish ran out of the visitor's tunnel and into a rocking—I mean, literally, rocking—Beaver Stadium. When Derrick Williams returned a punt for 78 yards and put the first points on the board for the Lions the place went absolutely nuts.

And for Notre Dame, despite taking the lead early on, it was all downhill from there.

Penn State's defense seemed energized by the raucous crowd, holding the Irish to but nine first downs and zero net rushing yards—that solid D has yet to allow a touchdown this season.

Linebacker U's Dan Connor stopped an Irish drive by sacking Clausen for an eleven yard loss, helping to force an eventual punt. Connor finished with a team-high 12 tackles.

Whistled for several offsides and delay-of-game penalties, the boisterous crowd had an effect on Clausen and the Irish offense, too. Clausen was, however, surprisingly poised under the pressure of the Lions' defense and the jumping Beaver Stadium; he was 17-of-32 for 144 yards and one interception.

Penn State's Anthony Morelli didn't break any records either; he finished 12-of-22 for 131 yards, a TD, and an interception. The key ingredient on offense for the Nittany Lions was Austin Scott who paced that offense, rushing for 118 yards and two TDs on 28 carries in the win. Jordan Norwood had three key receptions for the Lions, and Justin King had a key interception.

The Nittany Lions didn't start the game on fire, but they ended that way. With that, the Lions start the season on fire at 2-0, while Notre Dame still searches for a flicker. And unless the Irish get a spark going soon, particularly in the rushing game which has managed -8 yards two games into the season, it's going to be a very long season for Weiss.

Whether he can turn this season around remains to be seen, but I guess if he can get those pants on everyday, well, he can do anything. Sorry, Charlie.

—R. Cooper

IRISH STING: Yellow Jackets Hold Notre Dame to Three

The last time someone held Notre Dame to zero touchdowns was during an NCAA 08 game in “Rookie” mode on their Xbox 360.

But led by Tashard Choice and his two touchdowns, the Yellow Jackets handed the Irish the most lopsided opening season losses in their very storied history and left the fans in South Bend wondering “WTF?!”

A trio of quarterbacks vying to replace the “Golden Boy" Brady Quinn failed to make any impressions at all. Starter Demetrius Jones lost two fumbles and just looked plain lost at times.

Next.

Then, Evan Sharpley trotted onto the field, only to be sacked seven times.

Next!

Weiss finally called upon all frosh phenom Jimmy Clausen, who looked good but still has a lot to learn.

The Irish didn’t just see problems at QB, it was just a case of mediocre play, and perhaps a comedy of tragedies, that proved to be the factor of the game. Choice broke a Georgia Tech record by rushing for 100+ yards in his 8th straight game. QB Taylor Bennett was solid, and a stifling Jacket defense shut down the Notre Dame ground game forcing the inexperienced QB's to be effective.

They were not.

While Charlie Weiss still has much to prove in his 3rd season as coach, Chan Gailey's squad made a statement that they are a still a force with in the ACC. In holding the Irish to 122 total yards while gaining 386 yards of their own, either GT is the real deal or it just may be a long year for Notre Dame.

GT couldn't have started the season in a better way. But on the other side of the field, it's not quite that nice. It won't get any easier for the Irish as they make a trip to Penn State next week. And with still no starting quarterback to pencil in, Michigan is looking like it might be the easiest early game after all.

—C. Nierman